If Lifetime Television Remade “The Omen”

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Well. I am just devastated.

I was so excited for Lifetime Television for Women to remake the 1976 classic, “The Omen”. No joke. I was counting down the days. But today my dreams were shattered when I found out that the project has been moved to A&E.

Bastards! How could they do this to me? This is so disappointing. So many missed opportunities! So many missed casting possibilities! Why, here are 5 top notch ideas just off the top of my head:

5 POTENTIAL TITLES FOR THE LIFETIME TELEVISION FOR WOMEN REMAKE OF “THE OMEN”

1. Mother, May I Sleep with Satan?

Tori Spelling stars as a small-town florist who moves in with her mother after getting a divorce. When handsome Satan (Scott Wolf) shows up in her shop, she thinks everything’s coming up roses. But she’ll soon find out that every rose has its thorns. Or in this case…horns.

2. His Evil Side: The Meghan Pilchuck Story

When Meghan (Tiffani Thiessen) and her husband Satan (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) open up a bed and breakfast in the Tennessee mountains, it seems like a slice of country heaven. But it’s about to become hell on earth!

3. Online Inferno 

When Sandy Bingham (Jennie Garth) signs up for an online dating service, she is immediately intrigued by Satan’s profile. (Freddie Prince Jr.) He’s cute, has a dog, likes hiking and craft beer. Little does Sandy know that the Devil is in the details.

4. The Demon Decimal System

Shy librarian Kaitlyn Snood (Melissa Joan Hart) is just getting over a bad breakup. When she meets charming Satan (Joey Lawrence) in the Self-Help section, she can’t believe he asks her out. But after a few dates she’ll need some help from above to get out of this infernal mess.

5. A Thanksgiving Nightmare

Dawn Nibblet (Shannen Doherty) has been waiting all year to introduce her attractive and successful boyfriend Satan (James Van Der Beek) to her Connecticut family at Thanksgiving. But before long the kitchen is heating up. Not with turkey and mashed potatoes…with hellfire and brimstone!

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2 thoughts on “If Lifetime Television Remade “The Omen”

  1. Sweet new layout, Dutton! And, as I stated on the ‘Book, I love your casting efforts. All the mid-late ’90’s has-beens are natural graduates to Lifetime Television for Women (TM). It’s time that Patrick Duffy and Annie Potts step aside.

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