I was walking past the shithole diner across from my building when out of the corner of my eye I saw local guitar legend Dan Smith’s slick new calling cards.
Now, for those of you outside of the NYC area, this might not mean much.
But if you’ve lived in New York within the last several years, you’re probably well-acquainted with Dan Smith. He was remarkably proficient at plastering his guitar instruction flyers in bodegas, diners and bars. I mean this guy was insanely proficient. Seriously. I don’t know if he had a team of underpaid elves armed with scotch tape and Metrocards, but he really managed to cover every filthy nook and roach infested cranny in this town. You’d see his face everywhere, touting his one simple message: Dan Smith Will Teach You Guitar.
And with his mop of curly brown hair, kind eyes and mellow grin, you just knew he was a patient, sensitive person who would never scold you for not mastering the opening riff of Led Zeppelin’s “Custard Pie”.
So imagine my surprise when I took one of his fancy new cards (which really are a step up from the flyers) to find that he is expanding his skill set. According to these cards, he will not only teach you guitar but he will teach you how to live. Dan Smith is now a Life Coach, specializing in the music of the heart. Dan Smith is Deepak Chopra with a guitar. The back of his card explains that Dan Smith will:
…teach you that playing guitar goes beyond putting fingers on strings, learning scales and exercises, and memorizing theory and riffs. Dan will show you how to get in tune with yourself and integrate the life you’re living with the music you’re playing. Get out of your head and into the music. Talk to Dan Smith…
I especially like that gentle nudge at the end, “Talk to Dan Smith.” There, there all you stressed out, musically deficient New Yorkers. Let it all out, free yourself from worry, maybe learn a little guitar. In a uncertain world rattled by rising unemployment, stock market shocks and Erectile Dysfunction, Dan Smith Will Teach You Guitar.