5 New ABC After School Specials


The time has come to bring back the ABC After School Special.
A check on IMDB tells me that the last original one aired in 1996.
1996!
This cannot be.
For the past 15 years, kids have been left to navigate through this dangerous world alone; without the help of Scott Baio or Rob Lowe or Melissa Gilbert. And kids today have a whole new set of problems. They need the ABC After School Specials now more than ever. Being a civic minded individual, I came up with 5 brand-new After School Special ideas, all of which feature today’s unique problems. All ABC has to do is plug in some young actors (any Duff or Fanning will do) and voila! Another generation is saved from the perils of poor judgement. So ABC network execs, have at it:

1. “Grandpa’s Got A Boner”
Cheap Canadian Viagra creates strange changes in Luke’s neighborhood.

2. “Lopsided”
A trip to Mexico for unregulated plastic surgery has unwanted consequences for 16-year-old Kaitlyn.

3. “She Fried And We Cried”
Angela’s tanning bed addiction wreaks havoc on the Delvecchio family.

4. “Horse and Buggy”
Amish teen is hooked on heroin.

5. “Wary of Dairy”
A lactose intolerant boy is ridiculed by his Wisconsin classmates.

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